“Should”

I’m a big fan of Gretchen Rubin, and reading The Happiness Project was a turning point for me.  In particular I loved her Happiness Commandments, one of which being “Be Gretchen”.  It was a relief and an inspiration to hear her talk about the peace that came to her when she stopped trying to be something (that she wasn’t) because it sounded good in her mind.  A variation of this that I really like is the reminder to not “should on ourselves”.  If I’m honest, I realize I’ve been “should’ing” on myself for decades: I should be more organized.  I should remember everyone’s birthday.  I should like classical music.  I think instead of “should”, I will reframe that as “how would it serve me to ____?”.  That feels much more compassionate and less judgmental. It would serve me well to reconsider my use of the word ‘should’!